To all my friends.....
My son was messing with my phone and fried my sim card. I got a new one, but lost ALL of my phone numbers.

Please text me your name and number to my phone 801-726-9669

or leave me a message on here with your name and phone number.

Sorry for any inconvinence!!
Love Dianna "Diviana"

I am having a birthday party for my friend Mason and myself on aug 29, 2008.

Trapp Door, SLC
9 pm-2 am
August 29

All of my friends on here are invited. Love you all!

"Diviana"

I am determined to make this one day soon....like tomorrow night!! Anyone want to go with me??

Ching Farm Aminal Rescue will be holding Vegan Cooking Classes at the Downtown WildOats (645e 400s) every 2nd Monday of the month.
Classes have a $7 suggested donation, with all procedes going to the Ching Farm Animal Rescue

Times:
Begins at 7:00 PM
Ends at 9:00 PM

It's great to find a friend in someone that you least expected to get along with.
The same goes with a movie you don't think will live up to your expectations; and ends up surpassing them. Good Ol TRANSFORMERS!

I liked that I got to go to the movie with the person......both are great

Ashe, you introduced me to both, you ROCK!
hehehehe


"Were you masterbating?!" LMAO ah movies

His………


His eyes, two daggers waiting the fall of his victim
His arms, two snakes waiting to devour her flesh
His heart, four chambers of frozen matter
Un-beating in an even colder chest

His soul, one entity waiting to crucify her innocents
His lips, breathing everything she longs to hear
His entirety, a demon waiting for the moment
To strike her dead, and leave her cold

The only love he has known is that of the dying raven
It’s claws in his heart, always making it hard to breathe
So he hides in the shadows of the moon, alone
Awaiting the nothing that will become His loneliness

His lies, stories not even he can comprehend
His life, as still as the corpses he has buried
His misery, as apparent as the lines in his face
Given life to an even more daunting fate

His smile, withers with time and painful memories
His mind, devoted to his next kill
His everything, a crumbled mass of nothingness
Un-ending hurt until he is his own demise

The only love he has known is that of the dying raven
It’s claws in his heart, always making it hard to breathe
So he hides in the shadows of the moon, alone
Awaiting the nothing that will become His loneliness



DB 07/06/07

The temple has fallen to dust and decay;
The spirit departed, and flown away.
As the waves are silent along the shore,
Your voice is still forevermore.

The wondrous beauty of the sky and tree
In the morning glow, no more will you see.
No more to hear the bird on the wing,
Or with rapture listen to all nature sing.

To smell the rose that perfumes the air
Will never more be yours to share.
The sun has set low in the west,
And now you sleep in eternal rest.

The heart is still within the breast,
No more to love the ones held best.
No, never again will you feel the grip
Of a Master Mason in good fellowship.

This mortal coil you have set aside
For the Celestial Lodge where you now abide.
Your destiny now has been fulfilled,
And you are Home as God has willed.

But still you live in the heart and mind
Of the brethren here that you left behind.
So, rest you well, your labor is o'er,
And we'll meet again on that distant shore.

To all of the friends and family that I so too early lost!

Do I have vaulnerable written on my forehead?
Does it say "open for a good time"?
Does the way I say "no" confuse men?
WHY ME....WHY AGAIN?!

I can't do it anymore. I will not meet any more potential rapers.
If I haven't met you yet, I am sorry, but it won't happen.

Blame it on my trust.
Blame it on my fear.
Blame it on the man.

No more..........
:(
I want out
I smell like his cologne....."feirce" IRONY

I have a bit of a decision to make that I need to try to shed some light on.
My birthday is Sept. 2 (Labor Day Weekend) and I have that Friday - Monday off. The Projekt Revolution Tour is ending Sept. 3 in Denver, CO. I have someone that would like to go with me, but we keep playing phone tag and I don't want to go alone; BUT I really really want to go see MCR, HIM...all the other bands.
THEN
A guy from HS that I have recently starting hanging out with works for Continental Air Lines and has invited me to go to NYC with him and his friend on the same weekend. All expenses paid. I have never been to the CITY, but I HAVE been to NY. I am obsessed with the night life there and the feeling it gives off. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to NYC and watch a live show on Broadway, which he is planing on going to. As well as bar hoping.
No matter which one I pick, I will be doing something that I really want to do. NYC has been a longer time coming, but the line up of the bands will probably be a once in a lifetime chance to see.
If I go to Denver, I will probably drive and stay at a hotel....so I will have to pay for everything myself which I may not be able to afford if I don't get someone to go with me.
If I go to NYC, I wont have to pay for anything, but he may expect something in return....although if I go I will set that straight.

GOD! How do I spend my B-Day this year? Decisions decisions....perhaps I will stay home and hope someone will care enough to throw me my first surprise B-Day "party"..... maybe just go to Area and get drunk....who knows! ANY IDEAS PEOPLE???!!!

I finally "found" a nick name that fits me.....

Diana~ "Diviana"

The Roman goddess of nature, fertility and childbirth. She is closely identified with the Greek goddess Artemis. Diana is also a moon-goddess and was originally worshipped on the mountain Tifata near Capua and in sacred forests (such as Aricia in Latium). Her priest lived in Aricia and if a man was able to kill him with a bough broken from a tree in this forest, he would become priest himself 1. Also torch-bearing processions were held in her honor here. Later she was given a temple in the working-class area on the Aventine Hill where she was mainly worshipped by the lower class (plebeians) and the slaves, of whom she was the patroness. Slaves could also ask for asylum in her temple. Her festival coincided with the idus (13th) of August.

Diana was originally a goddess of fertility and, just as Bona Dea, she was worshipped mainly by women as the giver of fertility and easy births. Under Greek influence she was equated with Artemis and assumed many of her aspects. Her name is possibly derived from 'DIVIANA' ("the shining one"). She is portrayed as a huntress accompanied by a deer. Diana was also the goddess of the Latin commonwealth.

--- If you read a post from a while back that I had written, it makes this name a bit better..... Mason calls me his Goddess and "glowgirl".... hummm....

I miss the Georgia rain caressing my body like warm tears of Angels. I used to stand amidst the trees as I allowed the drops to penetrate my being and cleanse my soul. The only fear in the world for me then was the Heavens closing; leaving me begging for more.
I was forced from my peace, back to my mothers nest as I had to learn to become one myself. Leaving behind the comfort I so shortly knew.
I stood in the rain today. Not the same rain that made me understand the concept of "self", but drops of cynical Angels beckoning me back to the purity of the Georgia rain.

*shivering from the cold* "Did I mention that I miss it?"

Thanks to April, Ashe, Mason, Billy, and a few others that will remain nameless, I have finally started to really believe that I have what it takes to be an amazing, beautiful person. Thank you for seeing what I couldn't and being there to reassure me when I didn't know it was true. You are great friends and I wish the best for you!
April- I love you. You truly complete me and make me feel loved.
Ashe- You are such a good friend and thanks to your fantastic ego, you helped me to gain one too! Congrats on your DJ gig.
Mason- You have made me "Goddess" of my world. I believe I am a beautiful girl thanks to your kindness and sweet kisses.
To all my friends....you all fucking ROCK!!!!

Not fucking "try harder" bastard! Get off me and take your ego to your grave!

I have been talking to this really attractive, totally my type of guy on myspace for a while now. He asked me to be his friend. He started most of our conversations and last night he came to my house to see me. (Well, he showed up at 2 am) Anyhow, the moment he walked in the door, he started just staring at me. Not in a creepy way, but a very sensual type way. He kept telling me he couldn't belive that he was here and finally seeing me in person. That he is under my spell. He is 32 and doesn't fall for anyone, but I have him. Said that he has logged onto myspace just to sit and look at my pictures. He didnt have a bad thing to say about me. It was flattering, especially because he is the type of person I want saying those things to me. His energy is amazing. We fit together so well. He told me I am a goddess and he really makes me feel like one. I think I needed that. He was gone when I came home from work today. He left me a very sweet note and said he wants to come back asap.
I am not going to allow myself to fall for this guy. I know he was being honest about liking me, and he "joked" about going to Vegas to get married. He want's a Pegan wedding; and a baby girl! LMAO.....woooooah....It sounds a bit creepy, but shit happens, and he smells great!
Thanks "MG" for the great night. You know how to make me feel like the most beautiful person I can be :)

I am so glad that I finally have people in my life that care enough about me to help me out from under my God damned rock. April, her niece, and I went to the Festival on the weekend. It had some moments that I wanted to crawl back under the aforementioned rock, but for the majority, it was fantastic. I enjoyed getting to see the difference from one culture to the next and partaking in the festivities....

Above all, I got to play with April, and that is always the highlight of anything we end up doing.

I had a pretty great weekend, but where there are great times, there are always less great times to follow.

My step dad spent the night over at my place last night and I made him play Guitar Hero....to my surprise...he LOVED it...played for hours!
I had to take him to the airport this morning at about 6:30am. He is now on a plane back to Afghanistan to fight for someone else's shit. I would not normally care or have any feelings about soldiers that choose this life, but he IS a big part of my life and it was hard to say goodbye, again. He left last year at this time to go for the first time. About a month and a half ago, I got news that he had been standing in front of a roadside bomber when it exploded and blew out his back. He was here for two weeks and had to go back. I think that is what makes it hardest. Knowing he was almost killed once already. I have mixed feelings about his being there. I tend to say that if they are dumb enough to go in the first place, perhaps they deserve to die....but when I think about him, I can't stop crying. That's it....I'm just a baby!!!!!
Luck to ya Wade...I love you!

Oh yeah, on a WAY different note...I am getting my hair died. I KNOW I KNOW, again...what the fuck's the big deal...I ALWAYS have my hair a different colour. Well, it isn't a big deal, but I am nervous. Usually when I am going lighter, I let my hair grow out so I don't have a hard time dying it. But I am going back to red and they have to bleach the hell out of it. I am not too scared, being that I have so much red in my hair anyhow, BUT there is that chance of me having to walk around with ugly orange shit hair! hehehe I suppose if it doesn't work out, I can just shave it all off LOL.... really...that isn't going to happen! (the shaving it off part)

More to come....

Some people are fucking nuts. When you read this, I am sure that you will agree!

I went to Area 51 Saturday night. I had plans to meet Brian AKA "Bull Dog" (bartender at Club Vegas) to go to Dennys after 2am. While I waited for him to get finished cleaning up, Caleb was waiting with me to keep me company. We got to talking about Souls and he pulled out a small contract that said something like...'I ______ blah blah blah....give my soul....blah blah blah...one year after I die, my soul will belong to blah blah....' and then you sign your name and add your blood to a box at the bottom. So I decided that for fun, I would give him mine. The only problem, I didn't have a knife or anything sharp....so I tried scratching myself...heheh...anyhow, two guys approched us to ask if we had a cig and wanted to know what the hell I was doing. We showed him the card and he laughed, saying I was nuts. Then he asked for a cig again. I said, "yeah, but not for free" I don't exactly remember how we got to it, but he agreed to give us his soul for a cig. He actually took out a sharp key, and sliced his arm like 3 times, and added his blood to the card....I gave him a cig and he fucking signed his name. As I repeat this story, I realize you MAY have had to be there to really understand why it was so funny. Anyhow, Brian had to go check on his daughter, so the four of us (Caleb, the soul deprived guy, his friend, and I) went to Dennys to wait. While we were talking, he started getting sellers remorse. LMAO....saying "I could have gotten a prostitute, an ass fucking, blow job, or something fucking great, but I sold my Goddamned soul for a damn cig" HAHAHAHA Yeah, we were laughing at him for hours. After Dennys, Caleb and I laughed about it for another hour. FUCKING HALLARIOUS!!!! (To us...) We thought it would have made our year if he would have not had a lighter on him and had sold his soul a cig he couldn't even smoke.... :) OK, OK.... we're nuts, but it was the greatest thing I have witnessed in a looong time.

What the heck is it about weddings and showers that makes people go absolutly freakin' crazy??!! I spent the night at my friends house helping her mother get ready for her surprise wedding shower. She made her help clean until 3 am in the morning and then let her go to bed so that her and I could plan the rest of the games for the damn shower the next (or same) day (however you look at it). SUCKED!! I dont plan well on no sleep with a cranky lady bitching about everyone. hehehe. anyhow, somehow we ended up pulling it off. I had to destress, so I went to Area Sat and met her cousins there. They are the freakin' funnest!!!! They got me drunk and had me teach them how to "dance goth". It was such a looon, FUN FUN FUN night. They said they want to be my new club partners. I missed April though. We havent been out together for about 4 weekends or so....I love her...hehehe

Anyhow, Fayne finally got back to me and he is having me go to his house this Friday night for a sitting. I am uber excito!!!! (whatever that means) This Sat is Brandi's wedding. Yay for getting it over with. People...dont ask me to be a brides maid unless you want goth girl at your church wedding hehehe

I am thinking of going to Area Fri. night. More fun to freakin' come I hope

Love you all!~!!!

I have a very hot, very attainable man writing me lovely poems and talking to me in all sorts of fun little ways....it's sweet, but why do I not really care?! I really AM changing...yay!!
I am going to share what he wrote 'cause I sort of enjoy them.....

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Gabreil
Date: Apr 21, 2007 12:40 AM

envy

sea eyes green, is what I see as I stare deep inside your soul
losing myself softly as silently you sing to me with proweling eyes, as I fall through your dreams without, making a sound!
with whispering eyes I see the sea making love to the sand in steady rhythm, night and day
never seperated for infinity
forever together in sea
green eyes

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: DIANNA
Date: 24 Apr 2007, 04:01 PM

I really liked that. Who was it written for / about?
Take care ;)
Dianna

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Gabreil
Date: Apr 25, 2007 6:17 PM

RE: RE: sea green eyes

I wrote this for you, your eyes reached out and grabbed me, intensely I wanted to jump through your picture, into your soul and become one with you, take a bite into you. your eyes made my soul thirsty for yours
I want to taste your soul...........and meet you.

I know your eyes are blue but green caught my attention give me a few minutes and I will have it done for you with blue eyes


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Gabreil
Date: Apr 25, 2007 7:23 PM

Seduction

Through these seemingly perfect creatures lies a sexy feast
look at her, bleeding with beauty.
see her denying eyes, blue pools of deception
circling the abyss where reality lies
Icey sparks of winter skies.

her lips rich and voluptuous
see her hair dark and mysterious
watch as it dances about
wild untaming strands like hands, coaxing, beckoning, begging him.
slithering like snakes whispering in his ear.

look at him, dying within
see his greedy eyes,
his hand tightening, tongue salivating for her skin
he is consumed in one thought, one fantasy; her flesh
Together they are dizzy, desperate for salvation from their private pains,
an entire confession to the wrong god
outwardly purging their sins inwardly forging them
as the lies linger like the sweet perfume that entangles them," In an eruption of blind passion!"
that leaves them walking away asking
"Who was that?"

this one took longer than I thought
the ice in your eyes stand out better than green,
"you are beautiful," the man that lost you is an fool.


HE IS SOOOOO RIGHT!!! lol :)

I have felt less like myself lately. Or, at least, less of who I supposed that I was. I don't know if I am going thru something in my life right now that I am not fully aware of, or if it is a change that I am too aware of. I am really happy where I am at, but at the same time, I am scared of what I have become. I guess everyone goes thru their own things. I just feel as though I don't have any one to turn to.
Michael came over last weekend. He spent the night Friday and Saturday. It was ok. It used to be that I was really attracted to him and could feel myself falling for him. Now, he is just another "good friend". I am starting to think that I am loosing my ability to love, or the want to be loved. huh.


side note....I finished the Buffy series. Next, Angel (perhaps)

I ran into Fayne at Area Saturday night. I am going to get fangs from him....yay

I finished season 3 already....need more BUFFY

I was a drunken whorish mess Sat. at Area...and it was FAN freakin' TASTIC!!
Justin from HS (whom I never hung out with or said more than maybe 5 words to) came up to me at Area and asked if I was Dianna from Layton High...that he remembers about 6 years ago, when there were wanted posters of me up all around Utah....hahahaha, funny how you forget your life is and always has been crap!!! Thanks for reminding me of my kidnapping JUSTIN!!!

I can't cuss on this 'darn' computer. I dont have a comp at home at the moment, have to use the one at the library. Makes me SO mad....this post is too clean!

Love you all

My therm. says it is 72 in here but I am F R E E Z I N G! I despise the cold.
I am done with the second season of "Buffy" and think I am going to get the next one from Ashe Friday. I really, really like that damn show. I keep dreaming of vamps...more than usual, thanks to this fun obsession ....
I saw Tyler, the guy I went home with a few Sat. ago, on my friends top list and looked at his pic to see if it was him. OMG does he look different in person. So I wrote him a short "hi" message and said if he wanted to add me (which I figured he wouldn't) that he could. Yesterday I got a message back and he added me. Not only did he do that, but he added me to his top friends list. Weird, how you figure someone just wanted ONE thing, and he really wants to be friends (out of his mouth). Great, I suppose, if you want more friends....
So I am not happy with the way that I look at all. Instead of bitching about it, I bought a VIP membership to Golds last Nov. and have been going to the gym a lot. I have actually started eating better now too. It used to be that I would eat one heavy meal a day, and that would be it. Now, I have been eating two 6 inch light turkey subs a day. I know the quantity isn't really more, but it is better and I have felt a slight difference in the way that I feel :) Hopefully it will change my outlook on life.

Kayden talks to himself a lot. Last night, he was talking to himself really loud, saying stuff like "Kayden, why are you talking to yourself Kayden?!" "You shouldn't talk to yourself, Kayden" "How do you know my name?" "Your mom told me" "Momma, talk to ME, not HIM" Ummmmm....O K!!I asked him a question and his response was, "Because, you will know when I take over the world" ..... I wonder if it is cartoons, or Buffy, or genes...whatever it is, he is STRANGE...just like ME. YAY. Funny how kids take after the psycho parents and not usually the "normal" ones. LOL
At least ExZavier seems ok for now. He was watching Kayden talk to himself with a very confused look on his face. I think he knows that he is next to go hehehehe

I know this is boring, but I am only writing whatever "sane" thoughts come to me. I am tired....but my story is coming along pretty good. It's so much fun :)

Night all